Saturday, July 14, 2018

Even Miracles take a Little Time

On March 8th, 2016 I attended my very fist Disney audition. I had never been more scared and more excited in my whole life about anything. (Which is saying a lot because I do a lot of scary things). I remember walking into the small dance studio in Bountiful, Utah and KNOWING that there was nothing else I wanted to do with my life than to perform for Disney. The summer of 2014 I had participated in my first Disney College Program and while it was the HARDEST few months of my life at that point, I left there knowing that I would be back one day. I carried that hope in my heart and allowed it to drive me forward into the next two years and motivate me to gain the courage to attend an audition.
Have you ever felt lost in the world? Knowing who you are but not really knowing where you belong? Wanting to be where you're expected to be but being pulled to the most unrealistic of places? I have. I've felt that my whole life. Stepping into my first Disney audition was the first time in my life that I have ever felt that feeling go away. Dancing, animating, and laughing out loud at the thought that I had never felt more meant for a place than I did in that moment. I attended 7 MORE auditions (in 2 years time) after that. SEVEN.
I know that number is nothing compared to so many others, who have attend many more than I, before finally getting an offer. I am very fortunate that 8 was my lucky number.

This post is for the dreamers. This post is for those who believe. This post is for the people who have ever been told that their dreams were unrealistic, un-accomplishable, or unfavorable. For those who have been told to be an ADULT or to GROWUP. For those who have been misguided by the idea that in order to be a contributing member of an adult society you must be miserable and bored. That you must make money over happiness. That you must take stability over adventure. That you must remember your resume in every step that you take. That you must be a parent, spouse, or provider before you are allowed to have a peace of mind in who you are becoming. YOUR DREAMS MATTER. YOUR GOALS MATTER. YOU MATTER....& there will always be people who do not understand your choices. You DO NOT owe them an explanation. You do not owe them a roadmap to your dreams that explains each road you took to reach your destination and why you took them.

A few Sundays ago in fast and testimony meeting a member of my ward stood up and talked about how he quit his job and school in order to follow a dream. He said that no matter where this dream took him, wether he reached it or not, he would never regret the risk. His dream meant that much to him.
I cried. I knew the feeling. I remembered the jobs I struggled through with Disney just to get a chance at one day performing. I remembered the dance practices and my aching knees and feet. I remembered working hard to save money to fly/drive to any and all auditions. I remembered pushing back graduation dates so that I could just get one more DCP in. I remember waiting for months to hear about audition results and crying when they didn't match my expectations. I remember skipping events for extra sleep before auditions, passing up snacks so that I could be healthy, and killing my hair and watching pieces of it fall out just to get it into Disney look. Those were miserable memories. But you know what else I remember? I remember sitting on the floor in an audition room in Orlando and hearing the worlds, "you're in the hiring pool". I remember running out to Sydney sitting on the floor with tears in my eyes as I hugger her and shared the news. I remember getting a call from casting on a cold November morning and getting a job offer. I remember my fist day of training and meeting my trainer Raevon and thinking that I was finally home for good. Most of all, I remember my first debut day, I remember kneeling in the hot sun as tears mixed with sweat ran down my face as I hugged my very first child guest. I remember the pain, but man oh man, do I remember the joy much, MUCH, more.

I've had my moments where I have forgotten my dreams. When I have fallen to the idea of realism and contentment over the idea of unrealistic yet accomplishable and joy. I've tried. I have tried to be content with the worlds idea of adulthood but I am just not that kind of person, and I know I can't possibly be alone.

If there is one thing that you get from this post friends, let it be this, YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. YOUR DREAMS ARE YOUR DREAMS FOR A REASON. (They weren't just given to you to help pass time with day dreaming, they are apart of you for a reason). I don't believe that God gives us passion and dreams just so that we can wave at them as they drive by us living our mediocre lives. No matter how long they take. No matter how much work you have to put in. YOU CAN MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE. I know I did.

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